Tuesday – February 22nd, 2022

I believe that we are all on our own predestined path to a future not only hand selected but physically, mentally and spiritually meant for us.

Lately however, I’ve been at a crossroads. My ever changing life has once again forced me to sit down and focus in on what the next step would be. You see, apart from the fear that comes associated with change there’s also the fear of change itself. But who’s to say that what we wanted when we were 18 is what we want now at 26? Is it because this is something we genuinely want to attain or because we find comfort in knowing exactly what it is we “think” we want?

I say, take the time to ask yourself ever so often what you want out of life and realize it’s okay if it’s not what you originally had in mind. The world works in mysterious ways and where you’re meant to be, you will be. It’s all about enjoying the road along the way. Live for the good days, bad days, “meh” days.

I say, just live and the rest will fall into place.

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Wednesday – February 9th, 2022

Sometimes the road less traveled is that way for a few reasons. Either it has proven itself treacherous to all who decide to embark on such a journey or the pay off after said adventure is not worth the risks involved, whichever it may be, it’s the road less traveled for a reason, right?

What if I told you I have started my own path towards a road some have travelled but definitely not enough to lay down some asphalt. I decided that I was at a place where I was begining to question the decisions I had made and the roads I had taken up to that point. I already knew which road I was going to follow and was optimistic to keep going but a part of me dreaded it because it knew what came associated.

It was only when I least expected, another road came to be. It was something I had tried before in the past but for all the wrong reasons – here again, to offer itself to me. However, this time it didn’t come disguised as anything other than what it was – as did I.

Risk isn’t to be taken lightly and all outcomes, even the ones that’ll “definitely never happen” should be considered and thoroughly planned for. You never want to be caught with your pants down, always remember that.

All I know is if shit were to hit the fan, the only thing I would need to do is walk back up the road and continue the other one. It’ll always be there, patiently waiting to see if I will make my return, so I’m not stressed.

All I’m saying is to be flexible. Give yourself the room to expand and try new things along your journey – the results may surprise you.

Thursday – February 3rd, 2022

Do you remember when you were a child and life felt new? It felt neverending, weightless and as if all possibilities could be made into realities? We had imaginations that could teleport us to places from the comfort of our own homes. We were continuously encouraged to not only strive to be the best but to follow our dreams while remembering that our happiness was just as important.

How do we get those feelings back now that we’ve lived and experienced the true and rather harsh realities of life? Not to sound like a pessimist and I promise you I’m not, but this world is not at all, by any means necessary, “easy.” It feels like a constant day to day survival and not just simply from yourself but from those close to you, strangers and associates.

I was reminded today of just how important it is to feed this inner child. We are only but grown-up versions of our most genuine selves. As children we were not yet tainted by the pressures of society, peers or our cultures. Now, obviously as an adult myself, I understand how this may seem silly to most but take a second and think about it, honestly.

When was the last time you slid down a slide or raced someone down a long street? Now, I’m not talking about these specific actions but rather the feelings that came from them. In that moment in time nothing else mattered because nothing was more important. You were carefree.

This life is hard, yes. This life is stressful, yes. This life can be sad and belittling, yes but this life is also beautiful, spontaneous and tailor made.

Saturday – January 29th, 2022

It’s important to remember that while bad days do exist they are mainly composed of bad moments. Once we encounter our first bad moment we consciously or unconsciously make the decision to either move forward from that or drag it with us. What we decide to do with it is a decision that is also based off of our current standing. If we’re in a better state of mind it’ll be easier to stop, recognize the moment for what it was, understand it and move on but if we’re already on rocky ground, it would make sense then as to why we would find it easier to carry it with us then to simply leave it where it first initiated.

I have always said that it’s harder to face something head on than to simply carry it around because having to face your demons long after you thought they had said their farewells, is saddening in its own way. Something you thought you had conquered and managed to check off your “to-do” list never fully goes away but rather becomes not a part of your everyday but a part of who you are. Embracing one’s own negative qualities while never forgetting all of our positives is easier said than done, but a necessary evil.

Imagine the power in being able to psychoanalyze yourself to the point where you no longer need anyone telling you who you are or reassuring you of your very existence? You begin to live life for yourself while being able to share your most genuine self with the world. You learn that holding back can be more harmful than taking chances and that risks are only but opportunities in disguise. Is it the fear of failure or rejection that holds us back? Why?

I am and will forever be proud of myself for starting this blog. I have “exposed” myself in more ways than one to the entire world. I have gained tremendous strength from dissecting and interpreting my insecurities that once literally crippled me into a repressed state which prohibited me from not only being my best self, but also being able to share this gained sense of self with those, who like me once, felt lost and riddled with confusion and emotions that made no “logical sense.”

So, here I am once more, on this endless journey of improvement and enlightenment to show the world how growth should never stop. People spend their entire lives working towards their dream body or a dream job so why wouldn’t we apply that towards being our dream selves?

Life lesson for today, never stop growing or working towards a better you. When you feel as though you’ve hit a dead end take a second to reevaluate and focus on where there is room for improvement.

Sunday – January 23rd, 2022

Sunday Thoughts

Okay, so I think I finally came up with a “schedule” that I can see myself sticking to. I am still going to give myself all the flexibility I desire because the more I feel I NEED to do something, the less I’ll want to do it.

I would love to post once at the beginning of the week as a way to state what I hope to accomplish or what I hope will come of life that week and then once more at the end of the week as a recap.

I’d rather start slow to work it up to being a habit again than to commit myself entirely and it end up feeling more like a chore than a desire.

Here’s to the start of a new chapter.

We’re Back!

I feel as though I have lived a thousand different lives. Each life has taught me new lessons, earned me new skills and helped me to evolve (like a pokemon.)

In my last post I mentioned having to make a decision that would impact my life in a positive way but that would involve me leaving behind something I’ve been pursuing for basically my entire life for something that had been nothing more than a fleeting thought just a couple months back.

Well, a decisions been made.

I want to take this blog on a new journey. I want there to still be lessons learned but geared more towards the present. What lessons can we learn in our present day both by observing but also questioning.

I want to be able to focus more on the here and now so I can learn to live more in the present while enjoying the ups and downs that this new outward approach will bring.

I want to stick to a schedule again this time around because not only do I have more free time but I also want to see this grow and in order to do that, I’m going to have to put some serious effort in.

Here’s to one door closing and another opening.

Life lesson for today, follow the signs and follow your gut. It’s riskier to not take risks, don’t you think?

Random

I was just offered a position today. An offer that could quite literally change my life. It’s one I’ve thought about and hoped would be offered at a point in time but never did I expect it to actually happen.

When confronted with a new path do you drop everything you have and proceed with it knowingly accepting that it could ultimately fail or do you stick to what has already been laid down?

My biggest fear is just giving up one for the other and facing regret after having made the decision. I guess that’s part of life? You accept the decisions you’ve made and come to terms with knowing you made the decision that made you happiest at the time but that you, with time , also change which begins the cycle once more.

I said it and I’ll say it again, the next years of my life feel like they’re going to be the best. I feel as though a veil has been lifted off of me and I’m so much lighter. I know nothing but good things are destined to come my way.

Just have to figure this out one step at a time. Stay tuned for a decision.

Random

My husband and I want to start our own little bookclub so I recommended him a book I loved and he did the same for me. However, I decided to read the book I recommended just because, why not?

This book saved my life a couple years back.

It allowed me to begin seeing the world not only for what it was but for what I made it out to be.

It’s all about making your own decisions in spite of everything. It’s about keeping your dream alive and discovering your purpose.

Ultimately, it’s about living a life that is filled with completing challenges, overcoming obstacles and standing strong all in the face of uncertainty and the possibility of failure.

It was a gentle reminder that I am living this life for me. I make my own decisions. I give whatever I deem worthy power but I can also take it away.

The project I’ve been working on has been a big test of this power. I’m putting it to use and it’s been interesting as of yet. I still have much more to learn, much more to heal and much more to tackle but I feel good about what the next few years have in store for me.

Life is picking up and I feel it.

Random

Do you know what I just realized about myself?

I don’t finish what I start.

I’ve been trying for years to come up with some sort of hobby that I enjoy and that would make passing the time more enjoyable yet everytime I attempt something new, it lasts for at most a week and then poof, it’s gone as quickly as it came.

Maybe Im too busy looking for instant gratification and so when I don’t get what I’m after i figure just giving it up and starting something else is the answer? Which, if you think about it is silly because nothing is going to have instant gratification.. I mean, unless you count eating but I do enough of that as it is.

What I’m trying to get at here is I wonder all the opportunities or learning I missed out on because I had ants in my pants and wanted to see results immediately.

Sometimes it’s that slow climb that ends up being more gratifying than what waits for you at the top.

Maybe it’s because I want to focus on too many things all at once? I like to dip my toes in a little of everything but the issue with that is you don’t ever fully give those things the full attention they require in order to make them out to what you would like them to be. In my head, I’ve preferred to be a master of none because a master of none is better than a master of one, right?

Im working on a project at the moment that I haven’t yet disclosed because again, my track record has proven to not be great. However, I’m optimistic about it this time around.